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5 Types of Difficult Lab Supervisor and How to Handle Them

Posted in: Dealing with Fellow Scientists
Two people shaking hands over a table, with a third person involved in the meeting, possibly having had a resolution meeting as a strategy for dealing with a difficult lab supervisor.

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Science attracts so many different and quirky personalities that you are bound to have some people with whom you just don’t get along – conflicts happen, and there are many strategies you can take to deal with conflict in the lab. But when your lab supervisor is the problem, it can be a big issue for you.

So, what should you be doing when dealing with a difficult lab supervisor?

Well, sometimes the best advice is to just move on to a position or environment that is more suited to your personality. However, in many cases, if you can understand your lab supervisor’s personality type, it can help.

Five Types of Difficult Lab Supervisors, and How to Handle Them

Here are some of the different types of particularly difficult personality traits I have found in lab supervisors I have worked with, along with a few ways to try to get along with each type of person.

1. “Did I Hear That Right?” – The Passive-Aggressive Personality

Passive aggressiveness is a strategy used when a person basically isn’t able to confront issues directly, so they will use an indirect means of criticizing you instead. It could be in the form of comments or actions that make you question yourself or cause you to make mistakes.

It is difficult to address because oftentimes any reaction may be seen as you “taking it the wrong way” and others may not always see the problem.

The only way to deal with passive-aggressive behavior is to recognize it and call it out at the time it is happening. You don’t need to be rude or aggressive back. Simply let the person know that their comment was not OK and that their rudeness is unnecessary.

The idea is to bring their behavior out into the open. You will feel good about defending yourself without resorting to backbiting or complaining, and chances are that once they realize that it doesn’t work on you, they will stop.

2. The Manipulator

Some lab supervisors can demonstrate qualities of manipulative behavior. This is particularly common where there is a large power difference with regard to education or authority.

You are the subordinate here and so are anxious to make your lab supervisor happy and to prove your worth. You may find that you are saying ‘yes’ to things without really wanting to. The problem is that this type of lab supervisor may not be looking out for your best interests, having you running off in multiple directions and not focusing on your career goals because it suits their needs.

In a way, this feels like a compliment because you are taking care of so much and feel validated in your job. But it is important to know when it has gone too far and to notice when you are not progressing in the direction you have set for yourself. The most critical thing is to learn to recognize when it is happening and then to address the specific situation with your supervisor privately.

It may be uncomfortable if you are not used to speaking up, but you will develop great skills in managing others (managing up), and with a little skill and patience, you can be sure to keep your career on track while still making your lab supervisor look good.

Setting boundaries at the beginning is key.

3. The Unfocused Supervisor

Having a supervisor who lacks focus can be exhausting for the people reporting to them.

This type of lab supervisor has so much energy – they want to do everything and want it done yesterday. They constantly commit to more projects without checking with the people who actually do the work. Their positive energy is infectious and it can feel great to be so productive.

The problem occurs when you are starting new projects or experiments every day. Priorities change daily, or sometimes hourly, and you can’t finish a task before a new one is added to your to-do list. The only way to keep up is to work very long hours, and even then your head is barely above water. This type of situation will lead to burnout if not handled in a timely fashion.

The best way to address this situation is to have a talk with the supervisor – but be prepared! Make a list of every project you have going, where it is in terms of being finished, and the deadline (if there is one).

Explain how you prioritized the list and what you feel are the most important projects to complete before taking on more. If the supervisor wants to add more to your list, give them an honest assessment of when it could be started. When they insist that it must be started earlier, ask them which project on the list should be bumped off.

The idea is to deliver a dose of reality – show them how all of the commitments are overlapping so they can understand the volume of work on your plate. You need to be firm when stating that you simply cannot take on another project until projects x, y, and z are finished.

The supervisor wants to keep you working hard for them and making them look great. You just need to restore your sanity and feel good about having a job well done instead of 20 jobs all done poorly.

This type of supervisor often doesn’t realize the extent of your frustration until you discuss it, so it may come as a shock when you finally draw the line.

4. The Micro-Manager

Depending on the type of worker you are, a micro-manager can be a benefit or a nightmare. If you like to have a lot of direction and attention, you won’t mind a micro-manager at all. However, if you prefer to work independently, you won’t be a good match with a micro-manager.

This type of supervisor will check in with you every 5–15 minutes to see how you are progressing. You know you are in trouble when the lab supervisor positions your desk or cubicle as close to their office as possible.

To survive micro-management, you can try a couple of techniques. One is to find another place to focus on your work; whether you need to read papers or work on a presentation, find an empty conference room where you can focus without being disturbed. If leaving your desk is not an option, try putting on headphones (even if your device is off) as an indicator that you are focused and can’t be disturbed.

If constant interruptions are occurring in the lab, set your timer to go off in 1–2 minutes. If you are being called to your supervisor’s office while trying to get your lab work done, bring the timer with you and let them know you only have a few minutes before you need to get back to your samples.

5. The Put-Down Supervisor

I saved this for last because this is probably the worst situation of all. It is difficult to handle a supervisor who rules by negative reinforcement. Most people will not last under these circumstances, and who would want to?

The best method of dealing with a difficult lab supervisor of this type is to make sure you don’t work for someone like this to begin with.

During your interview, make sure you talk to others in the group or lab, and you may also want to check references for the supervisor with others who worked with this person and left the group.

If you do find yourself in a situation where you have been subjected to verbal insults, if you are not overly intimidated, try speaking to them about it and give specific examples of when their language was inappropriate or crossed the line. If you don’t feel comfortable confronting the situation, it would be best to leave, plain and simple. No job is worth the anxiety and stress of dealing with abuse.

Take-home Message for Dealing with a Difficult Lab Supervisor

Labs, like all workplaces, are dynamic, with many different personalities all needing to work together. It is not uncommon that two people just don’t click and personality clashes will occur – just make sure that you deal with the aftermath as professionally as possible.

The answer to any uncomfortable situation with a difficult lab supervisor or co-worker is always to be positive and constructive. Focus on the problem and not the person. Focus on how to work together and not how to get the other person to change – because they won’t. I can’t stress enough how important it is to leave any job with relationships intact.

Never insult the lab supervisor or management or retaliate on your way out. That is the surest way to never be hired again.

I only listed a few personality types that I have seen during my working years or as reported to me by colleagues. What types of supervisor personalities have you come across during your time in the lab, and what methods have you used for dealing with a difficult lab supervisor?

Originally published 17 March 2009. Updated and republished 10 December 2014. Reviewed and updated on 10 January 2021.

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95 Comments

  1. Katie on April 16, 2016 at 12:28 am

    I have only worked at my company for 6 months. When I started, there was one other person doing the same job as I’d be doing (business systems manager). It was the first time this person had ever had a co-worker at his same level. He was nice at first, provided me some knowledge transfer on the customization of this large CRM. I’ve done this type of job over the last 6 years, and i know I’m very good. We do software develop enhancements for a cloud based CRM, for internal customers.

    After a couple months, I noticed he was communicating with my customers without me, updating my notes, and doing some of the work, despite I was already working on these projects. I finally asked why he was doing it and he said he was just helping me. I didn’t need help. I needed him to provide more knowledge of what he had done and what he was doing, so I would better understand how people were using the system, etc. but he wouldn’t. He continuously withheld information from me, and it was a nightmare. Last month, he gave his notice. My boss knew he was being difficult to me. She said she wasn’t concerned. He was extremely controlling over this system and I didn’t agree with many of the unnecessary things he was doing and insisted I do. But I would bite my tongue. Anyway, he gave his notice a month ago and now he’s gone. Here’s where my real problem comes in. He left several projects unfinished and with no documentation. My boss instead preferred that he update a sharepoint site with what she thought would be valuable information in his last two weeks, but none of it helps me. It wasn’t what I wanted, but that was of no matter. So now I am juggling many large projects, including ones I had, far more than I’d ever handled at previous companies, or that any one person should be handling. I also cover service issues as well, and there have been so many because this guy upgraded a large enhancement right before he left, and I’m encountering odd issues. He naturally told me nothing about anything he did. I have never left a company with outstanding projects like that. I would never do that, but he did. I know he had many fans at this company, and I even think he was speaking ill of me. I also used to smell alcohol on his breath often.

    Needless to say, it’s been incredibly stressful but lately, my boss has been rude to me, demanding that I tell her when everything will be done. Our development consultant recently told me they could not do a project a business unit wanted, so in a meeting, I told the requester that I may be able to help another way. I don’t like telling anyone something can’t be done. So my boss said, when will that be done? I said, I don’t know. I don’t even know if it’s possible. She insisted that I give the requester a date right then, and I said, honestly, I’m doing all I can to keep everything above water. It’s hard to know right now. She wasn’t happy. Maybe I shouldnt have said that, and just threw out a date, but I don’t lie. Other people wouldn’t have bothered to keep trying to find a solution like that, but I do. I don’t know. I was further humiliated today when she said in front of this customer right after that that I wasn’t being unfair to her by not giving her a date. I feel that my boss was being unfair by putting me on the spot like that. I have been working my ass off for this customer on several projects, and she’s very nice, never complains, she’s also new and other tech folks have said this department is incredibly disorganized, but she only compliments me. I am appalled over my boss saying something like that. She constantly cuts me off, doesn’t trust my solutions or suggestions, even though I know what I’m talking about.

    Overall, I walked in to a very long list of projects needing to be done, many that have been sitting waiting for 2, even 3 years. That is unheard of. Projects shouldn’t sit for more than a few months. So now I’m all alone, and suddenly, she’s cracking the whip. I am so frustrated I’m thinking of leaving. But her rudeness and lack of support for me, is the reason. I don’t know what to do. Sorry this is so damn long.



    • Sandro on May 4, 2016 at 2:53 pm

      I too have been in this position as have the hundreds of others of posts I have read, studied and internalized.

      My view is less than popular but it is the most satisfying and really, the only one that works. I advocate violence. Ahh before people jump up in arms, I cite that verbal abuse, derogatory remarks and generally being an ungovernable jerk IS violence (of a non-physical) type..after all it’s what these assholes do to you; and you let them.

      What I have read is that there is no end in sight for good employees and it is getting worse. Documenting: useless at best; I have documented 3 years of bullying and harassment and in the end, they just let me go anyway, not wanting to deal with it. You spend more of your work and home time documenting CYA notes than the actual job itself, which suffers and you get nailed for poor performance ANYWAY!….They also found an arbitrator that was clearly on their side from the beginning (bought and paid for by the government). Unions: horrible entities that are purveyors of this bullying themselves. Remember, they will fight for you so long as they have nothing to lose; but since most union reps are IN the workplace with you, they dont want to lose their jobs either. Witnesses: Useless. The least reliable of all types of evidence…UNLESS THEY ARE WILLING TO TESTIFY. Funny how I had about 50 ‘witnesses’ that ALL knew what was going, that felt it was ‘horrible what was happening to me’, that said ‘something should be done”..well when it came time to step up, not a single one testified; so therefore, it’s just a ‘personality conflict’.

      I took the matter into the hands of the only one I could trust ….me. (Not even my hooker ex wife gave any support; she was a coward and thought I should “just be happy to have a job”..which I was about to lose ANYWAY because of the DE-Structive Dismissal)

      I was at wit’s end: All the rules I was taught about playing nice, being the “better person’, treat others fairly and you’ll be treated fairly back, work hard and you’ll be rewarded all came crashing down along with my reputation, my career, my home (I was forced to relocate) and my marriage…all in the span of a week.

      So I became a prick. I mouthed off to my boss at every opportunity, citing how stupid he really was, often in front of his colleagues and mine and reveled in the uncomfortable air resulting. When he would approach with a write up, telling me to sign it, I would: “Fuck You, I’m Not Signing This”. Once, when his boss came into town, wasting company money to ‘address the situation’ even though he was on his side, I was asked what could be done to resolve the situation. I said get rid of this Boot-Licking middle Management Yes-Man and make me the boss. I’ll soar profits and repair any damage he’s done with our partnering stakeholders.” Silence. I turned around and walked away.

      I even told him to get away from me physically; He would enter in my office, trying out some management ploy his management scumbag buddies would tell him to do (because he couldn’t formulate a thought on his own) and try to intimidate me by getting into my space, leaning over my desk, etc. I would immediately call him on the ploy and tell him to get out of my face or I’d punch his ugly face. He said, “Are you threatening me?” Reply: “wow! The ONE conversational dynamic you are able to correctly interpret!” And I was serious too; I never did (sadly)because instinct and common sense won out and he would leave, because the look in my eyes told him everything he needed to know. And it felt good to recapture some control of this situation that had spiraled from under me.

      I ended up having to be moved to a new division in another city and ended up retiring early anyway as the whole place was poisoned. It’s been many years and I still mentally see some of the times where I was bullied and pestered so badly, I would break down in the shower, the things that were said…I don’t talk about it other than in anonymous forums like these and it helps to vent.

      The work world is stupid, flawed and in needs to be destroyed before it can work properly again. I feel for those who don’t have the power or capability to retaliate.

      Remember, wearing a pink shirt doesn’t stop the bully, it just centers you out among the other dark shirts as the target.

      Violence against bullies, it works.



      • Shakeel on December 19, 2016 at 2:47 pm

        I applaud your Strength and mentality – except when my manager got on my **** i literally punched him! take **** from no one!

        [Edited for language]



  2. Iris on March 24, 2016 at 12:40 am

    I came in looking for an answer to my situation and you have given the strength to face my boss the right way.
    I have worked for a boss for 20 yrs, who has been very good to me in times of need, but has no sense of how to treat and appreciate a good employee. Never sits down to discuss an issue with the employees but quick to humiliate
    in front of other. I have talked to him about but he has never taken the road of conversation or meetings with employees. When ever an error is made he jumps quickly to insult the person. I had it, walking out but I will follow your consuelin, I’m writing him a letter without insults but I will direct on how I feel. I will not meet with him
    as I have done it many times.



  3. Rose on March 9, 2016 at 2:58 am

    I’m so overwhelmed, I cry at work, my boss says things in front of others and hates me. Of course I am a good nurse, yet she keeps nagging at me. I have gone over her head won’t make that mistake again. I feel like a failure, I just feel pressured, and angry. Is tjis abuse? I am tired of crying



    • Dr Amanda Welch on March 9, 2016 at 11:35 am

      Rose, Do you have an HR department? It sounds like it might be time to get them involved. Also, make sure that you document everything. I hope the situation gets better for you soon!



      • Dr Jennifer Redig on March 12, 2016 at 11:46 pm

        I think there is a lot of good advice here. Document everything. Also ask around for who your Ombudsman/Ombudswomen/Ombudsperson they should be able to help you. Also not sure where you are. Also are you part of a union? (California Postdocs are unionized). If so, you should contact them for help.



      • Juan on April 6, 2016 at 6:38 pm

        I would think twice on going to HR. I had a put-down and a very rude manager last year, and I knew that my days there were numbered. I approached the HR director as I was really worried about my future in that company because the work relationship with my boss was “cold” (I tried to use terms not pinpointing at him). I asked her not to speak with him because I feared any reprisals. Well, she did exactly the opposite and contacted him. When I came back from a 5 weeks paternity leave I was laid off. I didn’t want to fight back in court as I got a decent severance package (for the 14 months I worked there), but I still believe I was harassed at work by him (my supervisor). They hurt my self-esteem to much and took time to recover. Please document everything so in case they kick you out the company you’re able to fight back. Good luck.



        • Tom on March 29, 2018 at 5:23 pm

          It looks like you learned your hr lesson, i.e. They are NOT there for you. Companies like these fail over time. When I look back at my young life at all the places I worked, not one has survived, except McDonalds, which has done a good job of cleaning its act up in its treatment of employees. They failed because of dynamics like what you describle. A company cannot survive which treats its employees shabbily. The boss cannot be an ass. This is a formula for failure.



      • Bradley Smith on June 1, 2016 at 5:11 pm

        No disrespect, but advising someone to seek help from HR is poor advice. HR typically supports management, and the employee often suffers worse. To think that HR looks at these issues through objective eyes is nonsense. No, the best course of action is to immediately contact an attorney and have the attorney contact upper management. Be sure the attorney includes in the conversation buzzwords such a racial and gender discrimination.. Once upper management senses that they may be on the hook, they’ll deal with the supervisor quickly. Thanks..



    • Julie on April 29, 2016 at 4:49 am

      Rose I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you I can certainly empathize because I am currently going through the same thing except my boss is an immature passive aggressive and down right cruel 20 year old whose step mom and dad are above him and I have no where to go and this is why I am trying to find another job as fast as I can to get out of there before I have a nervous breakdown. I have a child to support and literally cant afford to quit or I would. I am praying every night for a new job to quickly come along. I hope that things get better for all of us out there who go through this. Nepotism sucks!!



    • Sandro on May 4, 2016 at 3:05 pm

      I feel for you. I have been there. Just don’t let the work define you, it’s a just a job, there are millions of other jobs in better places that deserve you.

      Don’t trust HR. They are supposed to be “impartial” but are actually an arm of management; logically since their salaries are paid by the company so they won’t ever go against their employers.

      Don’t use the company Employee Assistance Programs either; since these are bought BY the company, I don’t believe for one second what you say is confidential. It has happened to me where I placed certain words only my manager would understand into the conversation with the ‘counselor’ (who was a full bore lunatic: she started to ask ME about advice about her drug-sampling daughter…yea…for real) and not 2 days later those words found their way back to me in a conversation.

      get independent help if you need it but DO NOT say your taking stress leave as this will harm you more than yelling at the boss and telling them to f-off.

      You’ll need to decide one day, to not take any more shit. Things will then change, until them you are trying to to use a system that is geared FOR the bosses and it will always work against you.

      Keep strong!



    • Tom on March 29, 2018 at 7:00 pm

      Rose, it is good that you are tired of crying. You have to get strong. The bully will start seeing water drip off your back the way it does off of a duck’s back. She will then go on to others instead of you for her cross to bear. Read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.



  4. Davelllogan on January 31, 2016 at 7:12 am

    How do you deal with a Manger whom I’d upset daily.



  5. Azzie on December 14, 2015 at 9:48 am

    my supervisor is a tribalistic, arrogant and obnoxious bully and it is pointless reporting him to the director because he is scared of him, so i have no choice but to endure this miserable old man and being from a different province and different ethnic group makes it even worse because he has a problem with people who don’t belong to his ethnic group. i feel hopeless and i’m only an intern, even when he has to assess me he always writes negative untrue things about me, portraying me to be this mentally slow person, i hate that old man. my first working experience has turned out to be a nightmare.



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